Mason Jar Kentucky Hot Browns

When you whisk in some cheese
Just as fast as you please
That’s a Mornay!

(I apologize for that.)

Today I’m trying out Mason Jar Kentucky Hot Browns, because it’s 92 degrees today, so I thought I’d fire up the broiler. And I’m in Kentucky. And I love doing Hot Brown things – mini filo shell Hot Browns, Hot Brown pizza, etc. Many, many words have been written about the history of the Hot Brown, the Brown Hotel in Louisville, etc., so I’m not going to rehash it all. A Kentucky Hot Brown is a golden fiery phoenix/unicorn unholy hybrid monster of a dish full of everything bad for you: butter, heavy cream, cheese, bacon, extra cheese, bread, and then a tomato which most people just pick off and set to the side. No one eats this for their health. As a matter of fact if you ever order a full-size Hot Brown, it’s best to make sure you don’t have anything important to do for the rest of the day. The siren song of the couch will be impossible to resist. That’s why I like to miniaturize them whenever possible. This recipe will make between 12-20 little Hot Browns, depending on the size of your jars.

Ingredients:
6 oz. butter
8 tblsp. flour
2 oz. parmesan cheese, grated
2 oz. white cheddar, grated
4 oz. sharp yellow cheddar, grated
2 pints heavy cream
4 slices of sandwich bread
1 lb. bacon, cooked and roughly chopped
½ lb. turkey, diced
MORE CHEESE BECAUSE CHEESE IS GOOD
2-3 roma tomatoes, sliced
Salt & Pepper to taste
Parsley to garnish

I’ll try not to ramble too much today. I line up fourteen jars (eight 4 oz. and six 8 oz.) and get started. Four slices of sandwich bread get lightly toasted, cubed, and distributed among the jars, just covering the bottoms. I even use two slices of wheat bread, because – you know – healthy.

Top with a layer of turkey. This is just regular Boar’s Head deli turkey, sliced quite thick. Actually Kroger’s new dedication to customer service (in lieu of quality meat. Ahem.) means the deli counter people will always offer you a sample of the meat you’re buying. When I specified the thickness, she hacked off a monster slab and passed it to me as my “sample”. It was probably close to a quarter pound of meat and as large as my face. I spent the rest of my grocery trip trying to choke down what can only be described as a cold turkey steak served on a thin piece of paper.

Make a Mornay sauce by whisking flour into melted butter to make a roux. Keep whisking until it starts to turn golden. Add the heavy cream, whisking all the while. Get it up to a hot simmer, then start whisking in the cheese, and some salt and pepper to taste. It might not be a very authentic way to make a traditional French sauce, but I used my immersion blender and it worked like gangbusters. No lumps or bits of unmelted cheese. Ladle generously over the turkey and bread.

Then add some more grated cheddar, because why the hell not? What do we have to live for anyway? And then, yeah, I put a whole freaking pound of bacon on them. I’m going to kill you today.

Top with a slice of tomato, a little more S&P, and some parsley, so you can tell yourself you ate something green, and are not committing suicide by dairy. (Why am I getting so dark and murdery? I’ve had a lovely, productive weekend, done a variety of good deeds, and am in a great mood. Sorry I keep vaguely threatening you, dear readers.)