illdothedisheslater

Where ya been, Dishes?

(Excuses, work, life, more excuses, one or two valid reasons, blah blah.)

The point is, I’m back!  With serious work deadlines behind me I hope to update more frequently than just quarterly.  (Sad face.)  But as I’m out of the habit now, this post might be a little topsy-turvy, and not the elegant purple prose you’re used to.  Bear with me.  Or bare with me, if that’s your thing.  It’s your life.  Writing isn’t easy, despite what Steve Martin has to say on the subject.  I can’t just start a story about a red guy like he does and make it brilliant.  I ran across these particularly terrible pieces of food writing the other day.  (I don’t feel bad about reposting without credit, as it was a spammer who was posting plagiarized photos on a food website to promote their weirdo site, by posing as a baker.):

“They can be decorated in a way that will make them far more beautiful than they would be otherwise.”
“You can make a coconut cake for everyone who comes to your house because they will enjoy its amazing flavour.”
“If you are one of the cookers who needs better and new dessert ideas for every meal, you can find online all the information you need.”

See what I mean?  At least do better than that (oh I hope! I hope!) – even if I overuse punctuation…

Anyhoo, after recent traumatic work days, I go to my happy place, which is canning.  Are y’all sick of hearing about me boiling jars?  Well you’re in luck because I read about a new (to me) technique wherein you can sterilize clean jars in the oven (225 for 20 minutes!)  (Edit, like a year later.  Don’t do this.  It isn’t safe.  The jars aren’t made to withstand constant dry heat.  The more I learn about canning, the more I realize what an effing idiot I was at the beginning of this love affair.)  Isn’t that more exciting than boiling?  No, I know it’s not.  Oh well.  

Today’s project is homemade salsa, or just kinda-homemade.  I’m using Mrs. Wages Hot Salsa mix, which isn’t exactly cooking from scratch, but I’m still new to this canning game.  Homemade recipes tend to call for garlic, which tends to turn almost immediately into botulism.  I’m spooked – one of my major cooking goals is to totally not kill anybody.  I have a lot more research to do (and possibly to buy a pressure canner!) before I’m completely comfy taking risks like that.   Plus I think fine lines and wrinkles show character.

Walmart unexpectedly had some pretty decent tomatoes last week, so I got six pounds and a packet of mix.  I also decided to add some fresh cilantro and a little diced onion.  (Edit #2 – Don’t do this either.  Gawd, I’m lucky I didn’t kill someone.  Don’t mess with the recipes, as that will mess with the pH.)  The mix has dehydrated onions, peppers, and garlic as well as herbs, but at least this is a little more like scratch cooking.

The bulk of the work is in prepping the tomatoes – washing, coring, blanching, shocking, and peeling.  This takes forever, creates a hundred dishes, and makes a huge mess.  Fun!

They look sad, and sort of vulnerable, don’t they?  Then they get smooshed (squish! squish!), the mix gets added with half a cup of (no particular brand, just whatever the cheapest 5% acidity) white vinegar.  I also add my onions and cilantro.  Confession:  I am one of those cilantro people.  It tastes like nothing but awful dish soap to me, and I now find that even the smell is horrifying and offensive.  It kind of smells like soap, but it’s soap you know is going to get in your mouth at some point and you won’t be able to stop it.  Here comes the soap.  Open up.  My brother also has this gene, though Mr. Dishes and mom just love it.

Bring to a boil, then turn down the heat and let it simmer for 10 minutes or so.  Ladle into prepared, hot jars and process in boiling water for 40 minutes, during which time the windows steam up and I worry the paint will peel off the walls.

But when I fed some to Mr. Dishes, these were his comments:

“Mm.”
“Mmm!”
“Okay, yeah.  This is way better than the grocery store stuff.”

Just a note – these can also be made with canned tomatoes – Costco has industrial-sized cans for like three bucks, they don’t have seeds, and save a lot of mess and trouble.