illdothedisheslater

Marshmallows? Ugh.  What are you doing?  Stop.

Sprinkles?  You are not pinteresting.  You don’t have the patience/skill/time for that.  You don’t do cutesy poo things.

Staaaahp!  Remember blogging?  Remember Ciao Time?  Remember that Sicilian pizza you still haven’t written about?  You spent all day yesterday trying to recreate a beloved dish your grandmother used to make.  Why not write about that?  Why are you doing this nonsense?

I don’t know guys.  Every once in awhile something catches my eye on the interweb and I just have to try it.  So I made marshmallow pops.  Again, my apologies for the long absence, but I had some sort of plague that robbed me of my voice, sleep, and energy for two weeks.  No, I’m definitely not a pinteresting person – I have enough time-sucks in my life that I don’t need to add unattainable Martha-esque crafty BS to it.  But these are so cute!  I just gotta.

Predictably, it’s a great big damn mess.  I think I’m some sort of genius for using a fondue pot instead of a double boiler or microwave, and I admit it does help some.  Here I am dyeing almond bark purple because, as usual, I get way too ambitious and decide I need to make like four different colors and buy 19 different kinds of sprinkles, and wouldn’t peanuts be good too?  Ooh, and candy corn!  Little eyeballs!!!!

I also try out “Candy Melts” from Michael’s Crafts, a store I should never be allowed to enter with any sort of legal tender on my person.  They are green.  They don’t exactly melt.

And of course it’s not as easy as it looks.  Candy/chocolate/bark/sprinkles get everywhere.  I drop a candy eyeball, which my dog eats and she then dedicates the rest of her day to standing as close as possible to me, issuing clouds of fur that will probably ruin all this.  My first one isn’t so great:

But I persevere.  I spend all freaking day at it.  It’s fun and exhausting.  My legs hurt.  My feet hurt.  My back hurts.  But they’re so cute!

One of those looks really sweaty.  That’s green sprinkles over green icing.  It didn’t turn out like I’d hoped.

But some of them turn out adorable!

I buy the wrong kind of icing to “glue” the eyes on, so some of them are horrifying.  The eyes slide off and the mouths rip off when I try to put them cute little baggies.

Since I’m also pretty much insane, I decide to use up the leftover melted chocolate and also dip pretzels, which while a great way to reduce waste, adds hours to this task.

Those look like wizard Q-tips.

But they’re so cute!

Everything is sticky.  I’ve probably eaten something like a pound of sugar today.

This is a terrible blog post.

I’m sorry guys.  Just one of those things – I couldn’t resist the cuteness.  I’ll go back to normal cooking stuff soon, I promise.

These just tasted like sugar, dipped in more sugar, then covered in decorative sugar.

But they’re so cute!