“Let the world slide, let the world go;
A fig for care, and a fig for woe!
If I can’t pay, why I can owe,
And death makes equal the high and low.” ~ John Heywood, 1500-something
“That doesn’t sound like a Dishes kind of thing to cook.” ~ Co-worker, last week
”I know, right?” ~ Dishes, last week also
This is true – too fancy-schmancy for me. Usually my cooking involves Flintstone-like slabs of meat, humble cheddars, and forty variations on tomato sauce. Not for me the foams and fronds – give me your poutines and pot roasts any day.
But deciding just what to cook is tough. I mean sure – for a weekday dinner I’m limited to time. When I have company I have a few no-fail meals. Sometimes it’s based on what’s on sale that week – pork butts are $.99/lb.? I guess I’m braising. But what do you cook when you can cook almost anything you want – I s’pose I’m looking for the word “inspiration”.
I don’t know exactly what it is that sparks that little voice in my head saying “You must cook this. You must do it now.“
It doesn’t matter that XYZ isn’t in season.
It doesn’t matter if you don’t have cheese molds.
It doesn’t matter if Mr. Dishes is out of town and you can’t eat a whole turkey by yourself.
It doesn’t matter that it requires 14 herbs and/or spices you don’t currently have in your overflowing cabinet, one of which costs $12.99/oz.
You cannot rest until you have made XYZ, written extensively about your experiences making it, and shoehorned in swear words/cat anecdotes/general nonsense. Like that quote about the apricot conserves – spark! Marcella’s zucchini soup recipe – zing! For some reason I decided that I just HAVE to make fig jam as soon as possible. It was a combination of flipping through ATK’s Do It Yourself cookbook, and a distant memory of a gourmet burger food truck’s special of the day – an excellent sirloin burger with fig jam and goat cheese – kapow! Plus I love making jam – I’ve put up close to forty jars so far this year, and I don’t even really eat much jam.
I’m going to faithfully follow ATK’s recipe, since I’ve never worked with figs before. Actually just buying figs wasn’t easy, since let’s face it, this is Kentucky. Kroger and Walmart aren’t exactly in the fig business – no door-buster cost-cutting events, or BOGO fig sales or anything. Even Jungle Jim’s failed me – they had one squashy tub of clearance figs – six for $4.99. I had to pass and tried to abandon my quest. When lo! What is this I see at Trader Joe’s? Frozen green figs – $2.79/lb. Bingo. Then of course I stumble on fresh black mission figs at another grocery, so I throw them in too. Here’s their recipe:
1 ½ lbs. fresh figs – ha. Where do these people live?
½ cup “good” balsamic vinegar – Trader Joe’s is good enough for me.
1 tablespoon olive oil (I refuse, REFUSE to abbreviate it to EVOO.)
1 teaspoon fresh rosemary, minced
1 ¼ cups sugar
½ cup water
1 tablespoon yellow mustard seeds
1 tablespoon lemon juice
Here we go! First, let’s get acquainted with figs. For once I had the damn foresight to defrost something a day in advance, thereby avoiding all manners of food poisoning. I cut the corner off the bag and… They kind of ssslurp out like garden slugs. You can see them sloshing around there in the bowl. The black figs I just chop and tear up roughly. As the resident crazy person, I decide to double the recipe, since of course I’m going to be some sort of fig genius right off the bat. I predict everything in my kitchen will be slightly sticky by the end of the day, but it all looks lovely.
The figs, vinegar, sugar, and water all go into a wide, non-stick skillet and brought to a boil. Heat gets reduced, lemon juice, mustard seed, rosemary, and a pinch of salt and pepper are added, then it simmers for 35-45 minutes, stirring occasionally until it’s thick enough that when you draw a rubber spatula through it, it leaves a clear trail. That’s all!
This is good, because I haven’t even begun to fill the stockpot to get my jars sterilized and ready. I use the 35-45 minutes to do that part. The last step is to pulse the jam in a food processor, to which I say hell to the no. Everything IS slightly sticky, and the smell of boiling vinegar drove my husband out of the house entirely. I transfer everything to a bowl and use an immersion blender, so as not to have to disassemble and wash all 37 moving parts of my Cuisinart. Here we have the jam ready to can:
And here it is all preserved and ready to eat:
I have to give this recipe props – I managed to not screw anything up and the result is fantastic. The flavors are a bold, complex mix of sweet and savory. My husband wonders if it will go well on a peanut butter sandwich, but I think this will be best drizzled over goat cheese and served with crispy slices of grilled baguette. If I ever get around to gourmet burgers, I’ll be sure to update with photos.
Oh, and my record for recipe contests now stands at 0-2, having not made the finals with my zuccheroni. Alas! But I’ll try again. Maybe.
illdothedisheslater 