(Lazy Writing: Interviewing Yourself:)
So what are you doing?
Well I’m trying to stay motivated to keep this blog going. Blogging is hard guys. It’s hard to think of new and interesting things to make, then new and interesting things to say about it. I spent a whole day making a chicken and pasta dish with goat cheese, but I never posted about it because it was dull, tasted just-okay, and I didn’t have anything fun to talk about. I cooked it. We ate it. It was fine. No one wants to read that shit. So I’ve come up with a project to do, and a goal to work towards.
Let me guess – you’re going to do a reverse-Noah and eat two of every animal?
No. That’s not the thing.
A project! That’s fascinating. Tell us more about that.
I don’t have a clever name yet, but I’ve discovered that there are over thirty different regional pizza styles, mostly throughout the country, but also over in Italy. Maybe somebody should try to make them all and blog about it?
Brilliant idea! But why pizza? Are you, like, in love with it or something?
Well of course I love pizza. Most people do. Very few people actually hate it. It’s not my absolute favoritest thing in the whole wide world, but there are definitely worse things I could do.
Like Rizzo in Grease?
Exactly.
Why not sleep around with a bunch of boys? Rizzo did that, didn’t she?
Well that’s not really the point of my blog. Plus, as I’ve already stated, there’s way too much adultery in the food writing world. I don’t want to write a great series of blogs that eventually get turned into a bestselling book, then a hit movie starring two Oscar-winning actresses, and get played by someone with a terrible haircut, then write another book about cheating on my husband. I mean maybe I’d like to do some of that, but definitely not all of it. Definitely not the haircut part.
You’re not trying to be Julie Powell then?
No! I mean she wrote a great book. I even enjoyed the sequel, but I don’t want to invite comparisons by assigning myself a huge cooking project, then writing about it. But then again, that’s exactly what I’m doing right? Still I’m not trying to be Julie Powell. I have no desire to be famous. Yuck.
So you’re going to make all these pizza styles?
Maybe. So far I have a list of around thirty-two, but one for example, is only a style because of its size – the D.C. Jumbo Slice or Giant Slice or whatever. I don’t have an oven that large, and the only distinctive thing about it is that it’s big. I’m also not interested in just using different toppings, like Hawaiian or similar. I’m looking at styles like Deep Dish, New York, etc. There is a lot of variety in the pizza world. There are also things like French Bread Pizza and English Muffin Pizza – silly things, but when I get sick of proofing dough and grating cheese, why not? I won’t be snobby about it.
What are the rules? What’s the deadline? How are you going to do this?
No deadline. I don’t want it to become a chore. If I get interested in another cooking project, or in knitting, or computer solitaire, I want to be able to pursue those without guilt or pressure. But it will be a numbered series that I’ll post every week, or couple of weeks. I have a high school reunion coming up, so maybe eating thirty pizzas isn’t the best goal right now. I hope to include a few original recipes, and maybe eat at some restaurants that serve different styles as well. (Now the number of pizzas I plan to eat is climbing.) I’m hoping to get quotes and comments from other tasters as well, and maybe collaborate with another writer or blogger a time or two.
I also want to branch out, and learn more about pizza making in general. So one rule is that I have to make each style according to a real recipe. Like, I have a sauce that I love – it’s pretty much just crushed tomatoes and Penzey’s Pizza Seasoning, but if I do that every time, they’ll all taste similar. I have to make the sauces too. And cheese – some styles, like St. Louis style for example, require a special cheese. You can’t make St. Louis pizza without Provel. So this will afford me some exciting cheese-shopping opportunities. I’d also like to get really good at making dough – like in a don’t-even-have-to-measure kind of way. The project will change and grow as I go along. I will skip styles, get lazy, give up, get back into it, and start over.
You’re becoming well known in the food blogging world for your terrible photography. Can we expect to see more of that?
Definitely. Also, that’s a lie as I’m not becoming well known in the food blogging world. I do take terrible pictures though. You can look forward to more.
So when can we expect the first installment?
As soon as possible. I’m starting small with a weeknight dinner pizza that’s all pre-made ingredients. Not exactly a style, but I’m excited about this project and want to get started.
Thank you for your time. May I say that you look absolutely lovely today? Radiant, even.
Thanks!
illdothedisheslater 